My Lizzie Belle

Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda starred in a 1968 film called "Yours, Mine and Ours" which told the story of two people, each with multiple children from previous marriages, who come together to make a very large blended family of step-siblings and all the hilarity that brings. Growing up in Illinois with my

family, I often felt that it was a mirror of the Ball-Fonda brood in that movie as our family comprised a couple from Mom's first marriage, three from her second, two from Dad's first and then my little brother and I. Yesterday, March 3^rd, my younger brother celebrated his birthday and also brought the passing of one of my elder sisters. I was raised up with two older step-brothers and a step-sister in the house since as far back as I can remember, but my older step-sisters from my Father's previous marriage and my Mother's first marriage were only in our lives part-time, if that. We would visit them when my parents took us to Missouri to visit his parents. But I was not really raised up with them. However, Elizabeth, the sister that passed yesterday, had been in my life since my childhood, again off and on.                                  

When I was between 3 and 5 years old, my family lived in

California. My sister Liz lived there too for a bit. She was the babysitter my parents used for me when they had to work. We left California in 1975 and settled in Illinois and it was not long before Elizabeth moved to Illinois. She had been married when she was in California and had two daughters. Circumstances brought her to Illinois with her new man and they lived not far from where we lived. She was a semi-constant sister in my life from then on. My other older sisters I only saw once, maybe three times a year and usually around the holidays. But Lizzie Belle (as I called her when I was little) was always around it seemed. She was the cool older sister. The hippie-esque older sister. She believed in ghosts. She told stories of the impossible and the mystical. She really helped contribute to my interest in weird subjects and the metaphysical nature of existence.

Over the decades, Elizabeth had more children and I tried, especially as a young soldier, to visit bringing toys and interact with my nieces and nephews, always excited to visit with my sister too. She somehow saw the joy in everything when she was younger. I know as life wore on, as challenges were faced and surmounted, things became less joyful. Life was not kind, it rarely is as we age. She lost her daughter, Samantha, and her other children faced their own adult-style challenges. But she loved her family. She relished in her role as Mother, Grandmother, and even Great Grandmother. She faced medical issues. As there is no cure for aging, as there is no option to getting older and time taking its toll on us physically, she also faced these challenges as best she could. She had family that loved her, and still love her and her memory, but there was not much anyone could do when it came to issues that she faced medically. And yesterday, finally, she left this world. I know, in my heart, she left this world better than she found it. She left behind family that will be forever impacted by her mere presence in this world. Her laughter, her smile, her joking nature, her fascination with the odd and weird things this world holds, everything my sister touched was impacted by her existence.

Soon it will be time for all of us. Life is like a rollercoaster and every rollercoaster ride comes to an end. This is inevitable. There is no getting out of it. There is no making a deal with anyone or anything that will save us from the final walk alone into the unknown beyond death. Some believe we ascend to Heaven or descend into Hell depending on our life's choices. Some believe we are reincarnated and spend eternity trying to fix mistakes of our past. Some people just believe it is all over and there is nothing after our deaths. Personally, I hold no such ideas and accept the fact that I can guess but will not know until that final day. On that final day, we can only hope to be prepared. We can only hope that we have made our final arrangements or set up plans for what we would like done after we have gone. Hopefully we have set up things to help the grieving of our loved ones. Hopefully we have reached a place where we are good with what we have done or made peace with the bad times and good times. Because it will come for all of us. Each time I lose a family member or other loved one, I hope that they were as prepared as they could be for that final walk. Each time, I pray that their families, the folks that loved them even more than I, are comforted in their grief as they have their memories, they have the good times to remember and they know the world was better for having their loved one in it. One day each of us will be leaving this world and try to leave it a little better than you found it.

My sister passed away with no life insurance. No plans were made, as far as I know, to pay for her final expenses and as such one of her granddaughters has set up a GoFundMe page to help pay these final costs. If you are able, please donate $5 or $10, whatever you can afford.  It would be appreciated.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/a7tqh-memorial-funds?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet