Dinner for One - Holiday Gem Unknown in the U.S.

When I was a soldier serving in West Germany, a young lady friend of mine introduced me to an annual holiday special that I had never encountered before. I had seen Frosty and Rudolph, I had watched The Year Without a Santa and the Grinch stealing Christmas but I had never seen Dinner for One, and apparently most Americans haven't but they should, because other parts of the world enjoy it every year along with the other Christmas programs and New Years Specials but Dinner for One is a bit different, but very funny. 

Lauri Wylie debuted "Dinner for One" as a sketch in his London stage revue En Ville Ce Soir in 1934.

The story is that Miss Sophie (May Warden) is celebrating her 90th birthday. As every year, she has invited her four closest friends to a birthday dinner: Sir Toby, Admiral von Schneider, Mr. Pomeroy, and Mr. Winterbottom. 

However, she has outlived all of them, requiring her butler James (Freddie Frinton) to impersonate the guests.

James not only must serve Miss Sophie the four courses à la russe – mulligatawny soup, North Sea haddock, chicken and fruit – but also serve the four imaginary guests the drinks chosen by Miss Sophie (sherry, white wine, champagne and port wine for the respective courses), slip into the role of each guest and drink a toast to Miss Sophie. 

As a result, James becomes increasingly intoxicated and loses his dignified demeanour; he pours the drinks with reckless abandon, breaks into "Sugartime" by the McGuire Sisters for a brief moment, and at one point accidentally drinks from a flower vase, which he acknowledges with a grimace and exclaims "Huh, I'll kill that cat!"

There are several running gags in the piece:

• James frequently trips over the head of a tigerskin rug; as an additional punchline, he walks past it in one instance to his own astonishment, but then stumbles over it on the way back. In another instance, he gracefully steps over it, and in the final instance, the tipsy James leaps over the head.

• Sir Toby would like to have poured a small extra amount of each drink, and James complies with the request with initial politeness and then increasing sarcasm.

• Miss Sophie expects James, as Admiral von Schneider, to knock his heels together with the exclamation "Skål!" (Danish for "Cheers!"). Because this action proves painful, he asks each time whether he really has to, but obliges upon Miss Sophie's insistence. The gag is broken as an additional punchline when the drunk James' feet miss each other, causing him to stumble.

• Before each course, James asks and gradually babbles "The same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?"; Miss Sophie replies "The same procedure as every year, James".

Finally, Miss Sophie concludes the evening with an inviting "I think I'll retire", to which James and Sophie repeat their exchange concerning the "same procedure".  

James takes a deep breath, turns to the audience with a sly grin and says "Well, I'll do my very best" before the pair retreat to the upper rooms.

Freddy Frinton and May Warden performed Dinner for One on stage on Britain's seaside piers as early as 1945; Frinton had to pay a royalty each time the play was performed to writer Lauri Wylie but inherited the rights to the sketch in 1951 after Wylie's death. 

The sketch was also staged elsewhere, for example in 1953 in John Murray Anderson's Almanac at the Imperial Theatre with Hermione Gingold playing Miss Sophie, Billy DeWolfe as the butler, and four dead friends.

In 1962, German entertainer Peter Frankenfeld and director Heinz Dunkhase discovered Dinner for One in Blackpool. The sketch was staged in Frankenfeld's live show soon afterwards, and recorded on 8 July 1963 at the Theater am Besenbinderhof, Hamburg, in front of a live audience. The sketch was recorded in English with a short introduction in German. The introductory theme, Charmaine, was composed by Lew Pollack and recorded by the Victor Silvester orchestra. According to the NDR, Frinton and Warden were each paid DM 4,150. 

The show was re-run occasionally until it gained its fixed spot on New Year's Eve in 1972.

The comic premise of the skit—a man consuming multiple rounds of alcohol and becoming comically drunk—is generally credited to American actor Red Skelton, who included a similar sketch as part of his vaudeville routines beginning in 1928 (and allowed the premise to be used by Lucille Ball in the famed I Love Lucy episode "Lucy Does a TV Commercial").  

There is no definitive evidence of when Wylie wrote the sketch; the first evidence there is of the "Dinner for One" sketch being performed is from 1934, and as neither Skelton nor Wylie were internationally famous at the time, neither one likely knew of the other's work.

It has become traditional viewing on New Year's Eve in European countries such as Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden, Finland and Estonia, or on 23 December in Norway, and, as of 1995, was the most frequently repeated television programme in Germany ever.

Despite starting on the British stage, the sketch has only recently started to gain recognition in that country. The show is now broadcast every New Year's Eve in Britain on Sky Arts with its first national broadcast there airing in 2018.

In other parts of the world, the sketch is broadcast in Australia and South Africa. 

Apart from a few satires, Dinner for One is not known in the United States, where the comic premise had already been made famous by Red Skelton and Lucille Ball but neither depiction matches the hilarity of Dinner for One.

The article "Dinner for One: The greatest cult film you've never heard of" investigates the reason for its obscurity.

In 2003, the Danish TV producer Paul Anthony Sørensen directed and produced a documentary about the sketch that includes interviews with relatives of Freddie Frinton and May Warden. It was nominated for the Rose d'Or 2004.

The line "Same procedure as every year" (in the original English) has become a very popular catchphrase in Germany. The phrase has entered everyday vocabulary, and is used in newspaper headlines and advertisements.  This is also the case in Norway, Denmark and Sweden where the phrase has become a running joke about Christmas itself.

So do yourself a favor, check this out during the holiday season and see what you think. I searched for years to find a copy of this program and finally did a decade or so ago, love the digital age, and now we watch it each holiday season and join millions around the globe to laugh symbolically together over the silly sketch. 

Here is a link to a UTube version of it, there are a few:

https://youtu.be/5n7VI0rC8ZA

Darkest Night

The camp was mostly quiet with just a faint hint of sounds emerging from a couple tents whose occupants were still awake as the midnight moon could barely be seen through the dense tree cover. I walked slowly, deliberately through camp trying to avoid a flashlight or headlamp instead letting my eyes readjust to the dark but tonight, with barely any moonlight, the forest camp site was darker than most nights spent here, and have camped many, many nights here for almost two decades. This night was probably one of the darkest nights spent here. 

The sounds of the night comforted me some in the pitch dark night; owls and other residents of the forest called out to defend their territory, to call for mates, to communicate with their fellows in the animal and insect kingdoms. The dark forest is alive. The dark forest remains. Storms. Droughts. Fires. Snows. The living dark forest remains. This thought comforts me as I make my way back to my tent. I fumble, but only for a moment, as I search for the zipper to open up the tent. Inside is my world, my private conclave at camp, my cot and bedding, my dry cooler holding important papers & materials, my backpack, my gear and it gives me that secure, safe feeling although in my logical brain I also know the flimsy nylon material would be no match if some hungry predator was looking for a midnight snack. I know this but allow me to lie to myself about my safety, my security. But then again, we All lie to ourselves when it comes to those things, as if our homes & locked doors & windows would stop something that really wanted to harm us. Pleasant thoughts as I find the zipper and open the flap allowing the light from a small flashlight lantern I left burning when leaving the tent a half hour earlier to escape and penetrate the darkest night. 

I enter the tent by closing the flap and zipping I shut, locking out nature but still in it. The darkest night is still out there. The great owls calling their questions into the darkness. The sounds of the night soothing the visitors to the forest to sleep but I stay awake, listening, searching into the darkest night. The forest is eternal but we are not, we each will face our darkest night and we will face it alone. Take with you what you brought, only the gear you can carry, the weight riding on the shoulders of your soul. Take it as you stroll into your darkest nights, I think as I lie in my cot with sleeping bag around my frame listening to the darkest night. 

Sent from Arkham Asylum 

Surviving CrapFest 2021

"Leave it to me to ask God for help and then bitch about the wings of the angel sent to my aid." - Gene 101

Our car broke down on the way to the office this morning. I was about 10 miles away, no cell phone and no other choice but to start walking. Cars & Trucks whizzing by as I walk onward. I think to myself "Lord send me a miracle" but then question my own self...

Why is it that we only seek the help of God when we have a problem, a tragedy, a concern or an aliment? Because we are selfish people that is why. So then I again question why I default to asking for help, when in reality folks may or may not be inclined to pick up a fellow walking alongside of the highway even if it is 11:00am and even if he is dressed in a dress shirt and tie. But thankfully a young disabled Marine picked me up. His name was Steven and he explained how he was once a Recon Marine and was injured by a IED while in Afghanistan. He lost his knee and use of some of his fingers which resulted in him being discharged from the Marine Corps, something he missed very much from the short interaction we had. He gave me a lift and dropped me at a local bank just about a half mile from my office. He was from a different community and was using Google Maps or Siri or some technological beast for directions to a friend's house to help him with his vehicle, ball joints or something, and I told him he could just drop me there a the bank parking lot before he had to go to his friend's house. I thanked him for his service, his sacrifice, and his kind and generous act of helping me. As I walked the other half mile to my office, I found myself thinking "this is a small town, he could have dropped me at the office another five, six blocks to the office and then used the map app to take him to his friend's house" and that's when it dawned on me how viciously selfish we are. I asked the Lord for help so I would not have to walk the entire 10 miles to the office and he sent me an Angel, a disabled Marine Angel but an Angel just the same and here I was bitching that he did not take me further. I justify it with I am old, out of shape from sitting on ass in the office and no outdoor activity for like a year, winded from breathing issues and 30+ yrs of smoking but the reality is that even the best is not good enough for some of us. The moment was very humbling. Suffice to say, I am thankful for Steven and the assistance I got. I am thankful to live in a world where folks like him exist. I am thankful for roadside assistance to tow it to a garage and I am thankful for the ability to have things like that done. Ten, twenty years ago I may not have but have worked hard to get to this point in life and I refuse to look at things negatively. It will all be okay. I keep telling myself, it will be okay and to quit bitching and complaining about the kind of help sent my way; either by fate, God, chance or happenstance, I should appreciate it and take what I can get.

 

"Leave it to me to ask God for help and then bitch about the wings of the angel sent to my aid." - Gene 101

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you." – Daoism

Feeling a little better, the few mile hike today with the disabled car issue took a lot out of me physically. My breathing is still okay but not the best & I left my hose and mask for my nebulizer in the car when I began walking. I have my inhaler but it only helps so much. Nice.

Gotta figure out how to get home after work today but that is still 3 1/2 hours away -- Bah, more than enough time to figure out THAT part of my day.

And to make matters worse (I am a whining little bitch today) my 2pm appointment is a no show, I call her phone number to check on her (she is old) but both times her cell service is spotty (benefits of small rural community) so I cannot hear her but did make contact.

Now I got rains Awesome!

I left the microwave popcorn that I brought for lunch today in my broken down car, so I decided for today I would treat myself to some Chicken Fried Rice for a lunch. It just so happens to be storming unbeknownst to me when I ordered, so I am soaking wet from walking 2 blocks. Perfect Day.

I know I live in a rural area but I am NOT paying a taxi cab service $55-$65 just to come get me. One cab company quoted a price of $20 a mile!!! What the hell?!? Is THAT a standard taxi cab fee where you live? I cannot for the life of me justify $20 per mile. The place I am trying to reach is about 25 miles away and I am not paying $500 for a damned taxi cab ride. Hell, I could buy a cheap car for that around here.

Well, finally had a friend message me on the Book of Face that they will come get me and take me home tonight. Will definitely stay home tomorrow and work on getting truck tire fixed and see if the garage can fix our car. Having 2 vehicles and both down all of a sudden is HELL.

I mean realistically these are "First World" problems compared to those in this world without clean drinking water, food, and protection from warlords and other violence. I am lucky and I never forget it.

When I get home, I am taking these damp clothes off, jumping in for a hot shower, having a nice breathing treatment and then swigging some Nyquil and getting into bed and I am going to pretend this day never happened.

This morning is a continuation of the CrapFest2021 that began yesterday morning on a leisurely drive into the office. The garage still has not called (they are very busy) about the car & cannot find a used tire for the old truck anywhere that I can talk the flat one to.

Finances are not sufficient enough for a new tire (and plus never having had "new" tires would be weird, it is already weird having a vehicle from THIS century, I don't think I could handle new tires too, but could swing 1 new tire and forego a spare for now (as both are flat); However, after calling several places & making a decision to go w/the place I got used tires for the Car and would have to figure out how to get there w/the flat as they are a nice stroll of a couple miles, THEN the truck's battery is dead. I mean dead like an Egyptian mummy. A busy February at the office daily and I forgot to start the truck occasionally and the bitter cold & snow storms has left the old battery that is on life support most of the time finally, fully dead. Just FML kind of days, you know what I mean? Way to go, 2021, appreciate it. Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me, Deep Dark Depression, Obsessive Misery, If It weren't for Bad Luck, I'd Have no Luck at All, Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me!

CrapFest 2021 continues; Update: Truck with 2 flat tires and dead battery, Car in shop (no word – thinking transmission issue), no transportation, and NOW starting to have a bit of a fever, and feeling weak, did some rain storm walking for lunch/dinner yesterday at the office and think I am getting it, I done went and caught a cold, cannot seem to maintain much on health front since December but been managing to maintain appearances outwardly but struggle to stay awake at times do not know if linked to breathing issues & cells not getting enough O2 or If am starting to show signs of being diabetic; the thirst, tired especially after eating, the tired behavior, all disturbing stuff but last visit to VA showed test results golden, well not golden but not Star Trek Red Alert stuff as Doc did not mention any concerns OR it can be some infection as having many clients refusing to mask, I do not insist as I remain masked & have shield on desk between us, but still the chance of infection has been constant since last March & wife & I are conflicted on vaccines.

My Lizzie Belle

Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda starred in a 1968 film called "Yours, Mine and Ours" which told the story of two people, each with multiple children from previous marriages, who come together to make a very large blended family of step-siblings and all the hilarity that brings. Growing up in Illinois with my

family, I often felt that it was a mirror of the Ball-Fonda brood in that movie as our family comprised a couple from Mom's first marriage, three from her second, two from Dad's first and then my little brother and I. Yesterday, March 3^rd, my younger brother celebrated his birthday and also brought the passing of one of my elder sisters. I was raised up with two older step-brothers and a step-sister in the house since as far back as I can remember, but my older step-sisters from my Father's previous marriage and my Mother's first marriage were only in our lives part-time, if that. We would visit them when my parents took us to Missouri to visit his parents. But I was not really raised up with them. However, Elizabeth, the sister that passed yesterday, had been in my life since my childhood, again off and on.                                  

When I was between 3 and 5 years old, my family lived in

California. My sister Liz lived there too for a bit. She was the babysitter my parents used for me when they had to work. We left California in 1975 and settled in Illinois and it was not long before Elizabeth moved to Illinois. She had been married when she was in California and had two daughters. Circumstances brought her to Illinois with her new man and they lived not far from where we lived. She was a semi-constant sister in my life from then on. My other older sisters I only saw once, maybe three times a year and usually around the holidays. But Lizzie Belle (as I called her when I was little) was always around it seemed. She was the cool older sister. The hippie-esque older sister. She believed in ghosts. She told stories of the impossible and the mystical. She really helped contribute to my interest in weird subjects and the metaphysical nature of existence.

Over the decades, Elizabeth had more children and I tried, especially as a young soldier, to visit bringing toys and interact with my nieces and nephews, always excited to visit with my sister too. She somehow saw the joy in everything when she was younger. I know as life wore on, as challenges were faced and surmounted, things became less joyful. Life was not kind, it rarely is as we age. She lost her daughter, Samantha, and her other children faced their own adult-style challenges. But she loved her family. She relished in her role as Mother, Grandmother, and even Great Grandmother. She faced medical issues. As there is no cure for aging, as there is no option to getting older and time taking its toll on us physically, she also faced these challenges as best she could. She had family that loved her, and still love her and her memory, but there was not much anyone could do when it came to issues that she faced medically. And yesterday, finally, she left this world. I know, in my heart, she left this world better than she found it. She left behind family that will be forever impacted by her mere presence in this world. Her laughter, her smile, her joking nature, her fascination with the odd and weird things this world holds, everything my sister touched was impacted by her existence.

Soon it will be time for all of us. Life is like a rollercoaster and every rollercoaster ride comes to an end. This is inevitable. There is no getting out of it. There is no making a deal with anyone or anything that will save us from the final walk alone into the unknown beyond death. Some believe we ascend to Heaven or descend into Hell depending on our life's choices. Some believe we are reincarnated and spend eternity trying to fix mistakes of our past. Some people just believe it is all over and there is nothing after our deaths. Personally, I hold no such ideas and accept the fact that I can guess but will not know until that final day. On that final day, we can only hope to be prepared. We can only hope that we have made our final arrangements or set up plans for what we would like done after we have gone. Hopefully we have set up things to help the grieving of our loved ones. Hopefully we have reached a place where we are good with what we have done or made peace with the bad times and good times. Because it will come for all of us. Each time I lose a family member or other loved one, I hope that they were as prepared as they could be for that final walk. Each time, I pray that their families, the folks that loved them even more than I, are comforted in their grief as they have their memories, they have the good times to remember and they know the world was better for having their loved one in it. One day each of us will be leaving this world and try to leave it a little better than you found it.

My sister passed away with no life insurance. No plans were made, as far as I know, to pay for her final expenses and as such one of her granddaughters has set up a GoFundMe page to help pay these final costs. If you are able, please donate $5 or $10, whatever you can afford.  It would be appreciated.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/a7tqh-memorial-funds?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet 

Who Wants to Read It?

22 years ago I finished a novel, well actually like my third to be perfectly honest; but did nothing with it.  A few years earlier I had been working at a local radio station in the front office when I proposed to a disc jockey there that was friendly towards me that I could conduct and interview a few of the surviving members of the famous Six Gallery Poetry event [writer's note:  If you do not know, who was involved, or what that meant for the creative world,the social structure, the birth of what was to come in the proceeding decades, well, look it up; you know Gaagle, Ting, Waho search, hell Ask Jeeves for all I care.}  .. Well, I spoke with Gary Snyder through a letter, and now Buddhist Monk Philip Whalen, Jack Kerouac as long dead, but Ray Manzarak, yes, the Ray Manzarek from The Doors had sent a nice CD of his latest work with and poet Michael McClure and two that actually agreed to be fully interviewed; one was Allen Ginsburg, the genius poet who famous "How" poem caused a major victory for the writer's ability to be unabashedly honest and profane, if need be, in the pursuit of capturing or commenting on the human condition.  

The 2nd person that agreed to a taped interview was the man behind the famous City Lights Book Store in California (again, Gaggles it if you have to), Mister Lawrence Ferlinghetti, a man that turned 100 years old just yesterday.  When I told him I was hoping to be a potential writer his advice was to 1) write daily 2) then put it away in a drawer for 10 years and then 3) A decade later take it out and read it.  Took his message to mean that we can put it down in the moment, Kerouac-style, but to let time pass, let yourself grow emotionally, mentally, through experience and THEN examine what you created through the filter of that wisdom and then proceed.

Around that time as a potential writer, trying to emulate styles & new ways of creating.  I had completed several novels & since this one:  The Mad Road, I continue to have write many more, all ready to be released, but I was scared. People said I had talent,but people will tell you anything typically to save your feelings and my youthful age gave way to LIFE; marriage, children, family, loss, BUT now I need to know if people really do want to read it or some of the others.  

Over the decades I have sent articles, sample chapters, poems, prose, reviews and agents, always being politely told, thank you but no thank you and  in the Digital Age I adapted and wrote for plenty of places for paltry pennies,but pay all the same.  I just need to know if you would pay say $8 to read this 22 year old novel that has never been read by a single soul now?

Comment or send a message saying you would.  You would not, cannot, and will not be held to that saying "Yes it Should Be Read" vote in any way. You ain't got to send your whole name but I would like to know where you are from, please, and let me know.  After 6 months if have not received a substantial number of people saying they would read it, then I will put it back in the trunk and maybe wait another decade or two.  

Thanks for reading this to the end (Hopefully you did not zone out earlier, but if you stayed, appreciate it.

Why? Answers for ToNow

Personally I like to keep most of my "real" life private; I try not to lie in my day-today life, but sometimes, I tell tall tales of my past adventures or wind people up with fanciful stories.

I have always wanted to be a respected, loved, and inspirational leader, a living example to both youth & other adults. I volunteer 26/8 - Twenty-Six hours a day, 8 days a week. I give my all. Not perfect, by any stretch, but I Do My Best, as I teach our youth to do in Life.

Last year, after a few years of dealing with some unknown medical conditions on my own, I decided to return to the VA clinics and doctors, most of whom I have never placed much faith in. Having been a patient of 3 Different VA Hospitals, 1 Clinic, VA Docs on a rotating schedule and not satisfied with their factory-like treatment of veterans; I was not eager to seek a their help or a diagnosis. Regrettably, I got what I asked for, the diagnosis; among other issues some spots on my lungs and some severe breathing problems were the issue along with a few other problem areas. 

These have not prevented me from taking part in scouting adventures or taking high adventure trips going where most folks don't ever get to see and having experiences most don't get to experience and, although sometimes short of wind, I persevered.

Recently I was put on medications as things are not improving. Still these things will not end me. Yes, I am curbing my smoking however there may be a link to the Oil Well Fires, Burn Pits, and other factors from Desert Storm. Still the smoking does not help. We will wait for the next doctor appointments & tests but I wanted to let you all know instead of keeping this private because I am out in the public as a Scout leader and as a member of our community.  I wanted everyone to know, when you sense or think there are changes in my behavior, well there is a reason.

If I seem to take longer. If I seem to be tired. If I am sleeping more than usual. If my memory is not the best. Please do not think it is me being lazy, or just getting old. I am dealing with these medical issues, please be understanding. I believe in never letting people see you sweat, so I will keep my spirits up, especially in front of our youth & most the world, but remember sometimes behind the clown make-up is the saddest person in the world.  I may be sad inside, but it is because this fight will be the fight for my life.  Please none of that "my sympathies" or "I just read, sorry to hear" kind of stuff.  If you have taken the time to read this, then you obviously care.  No need to verbalize it.  Next time we see each other, a little nod of the head, a gentle smile, a "I hope things are getting better for you"...that is fine.  But no sympathy.  No tears.  (As if) And please, let us just continue as normal, or as close to normal as you get with me.  BUT I wanted everyone to know so that even though I pretend your opinions of me do not bother me, I never want anyone to think I am lazy or putting forth less than my best effort.  Just right now, my best effort is not good enough by my standards.  Let us live in the ToNow, the Today Right Now...Tomorrow is never a guarantee. 

The Cat

The Cat
by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

The cat
licks its paw and
lies down in
the bookshelf nook
She
can lie in a
sphinx position
without moving for so
many hours
and then turn her head
to me and
rise and stretch
and turn
her back to me and
lick her paw again as if
no real time had passed
It hasn't
and she is the sphinx with
all the time in the world
in the desert of her time
The cat
knows where flies die
sees ghosts in the motes of air
and shadows in sunbeams
She hears
the music of the spheres and
the hum in the wires of the houses
and the hum of the universe
in interstellar spaces
but
prefers domestic places
and the hum of the heater