Christmas - 2011

Do you remember your first Christmas on your own?  My first Christmas on my own was during my first year in the Army.  I had been stationed in West Germany, a country that really speaks Christmas, Old World Christmas.  Whereas commercialism had long ago shown Chuck Brown that Christmas had become a victim of marketing in the United States, Christmas in Germany renewed my belief in the holiday.  The only thing missing was my family.  I, like so many others, had come to associate Christmas and family but, thousands of miles away, I spent my first Christmas on my own, utterly alone, surrounded only by a dark, hairy Greek bartender and his sister, two old drunken Staff Sergeants, and a zit-faced teenager from Nebraska.  The next Christmas, which seemed to arrive so much faster than previous ones, had come to me in the deserts of the Middle East, the true home of Christmas, near the site where Jesus Christ had been born.

Those couple holidays, spent millions of mental light-years ago, still resonate in my memory, each holiday season.  I remember the fears, the alienation, the self-imposed exile from my family, my friends, and myself.  Hidden, across Europe and the Middle East, seeking myself, seeking the real meaning behind the holiday that had come to signify greed, lust, and commercialism.  In those dark years, I found the true meaning of the holiday.  The traditions, the memories, the need to be close to loved ones, especially in times of darkness, to reach out and pull tight to you those who you can lean on, who can support you with a smile, a laugh, a kiss.  The meaning of the holiday, steeped in traditions, both religious and commercial, the shopping, the gift hunting, the trees, the lights.  The meaning of the holiday; Charlie Brown cartoons, the Grinch, the songs, Gene Autry and Burl Ives.  The meaning of the holiday; the Wise Men, Jesus, the manger, David Bowie and Bing Crosby.  The meaning of the holiday; Christmas...family...tradition.

As the holiday approaches, I remember my past, but look to the future.  One day soon, a few rotations of this old planet, will see my own grandchildren, toys & wrapping paper, Christmas hams with feasts on Roast Beast, ornaments and colored lights, children and spouses, grandchildren and diapers.  A further trip away from the battlefields of the Middle East or the lonely Black Forest, but a trip closer each day to family and memories and tradition.  Merry Christmas.